Sunday, November 13, 2011

Knowing your child’s friends will strengthen your relationship

Know their friends
You should know all your child’s good friends. Have them to dinner ask question and get to know their value system. Get numbers and addresses if needed. Let them know they call contact you too. Changes happen quickly ask specific question, be informed.

Ask for their help

Tell friends what you expect from your child and enlist their help to achieve results. I love to hear my son’s best friend say, “Clean your room or we’ll never get outta here.” His friends push him to keep up with home work too. They know the rules: bad grades and incomplete chores means he has no fun.

Give your child the benefit of the doubt

Choosing good friends is a skill you can nurture in your child. However, give your child the benefit of doubt about who he chooses but be involved with. If you have doubt, without proof, ask your child to tell you if the friend is ok. Explain that as friends values change he/she may need to discontinue or limit friendships. Give you child the opportunity to make good choices.

Good friends will ask for your guidance

If you’ve laid the ground work his friends may tell you when there is trouble. Recently I had a friend of my son’s tell me to “watch out for another child”. This child does not have much support so I give extra when he’s in the picture. It maybe hard but you can give advice without being judgmental. Leave the door open for question and support.

In Conclusion

Keep communication open. Be prepared to ask for and give help. Your child is the best judge of his friends. Talk and ask question and listen with an open mind. Your child will be glad you did. 

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